Butterflies

Today is the day that I have been anticipating for a long time... I received my visa in the mail. There it is, stuck to a page on my passport ready for me to take to Europe and embark on this adventure that awaits me. The only thing is, things didn't really happen the way I've imagined them going down. 

All I've thought about is ripping open that envelope and pulling out my visa, the official approval for me to go to Spain. Today I got that envelope, and all I could feel were the butterflies in my tummy bouncing around telling me "Cathy this is really happening, you're going to Spain. Leaving for a 10 month minimum with the possibility of not returning for up to 3 years or ever (okay maybe that was an exaggeration...lol)."

But it still stands, I didn't run around screaming YAAAY! As I thought I would when this day came, instead I sort of find myself semi-retreating from the whole idea. Of course this doesn't mean I'm not going to go, it just means that I feel all of this is coming a little quicker than I anticipated. Don't get me wrong I know this is the opportunity of a life time, and many are jealous/proud that I am able to do so, but part of me at the moment is going " WAIT! WAIT! I really have to go? But I still need to find a place to live, and figure out a commute to work, and figure out how I'm gonna survive til my first paycheck" All things that will resolve themselves once I'm in Madrid, but alas I've always said telling me not to worry is like throwing a pebble at brick wall and expecting it to collapse. lol

If all goes as I want it to, and I get the flight that I want, I'll only have 3 more weeks with my loved ones, and I guess I haven't sufficiently prepared for that goodbye. That time is going to fly by like the blink of an eye and in a few more entries I'll be talking about my flight was and the feeling of landing in Europe. I guess it'll all stay surreal til then...

I know at least some of the other auxilares are feeling slightly the same way as our start date is inching near. Facebook has been a great way to connect us all and share our experiences. It was even the motivation for my to up and "pimp" my blog lol. 

I'm still excited to go on this adventure, just gotta deal with a few butterflies <3

Hasta Luegito,

~Cat