To Be Continued...

Well this posts title can be attached a number of ideas. The first being, I've left you all hanging for a while now without a REAL update on what's going on in La Vida de Cathy, so stay tuned...

Life in Spain has been a roller coaster, countless times have I just sat and thought, "Is this really happening?" I've climbed social mountains, health mountains, housing mountains, and much to my surprise professional mountains as well. 

Just as I was on the rise of enthusiasm with my experience here, I was hit with an atomic bomb, that I was not wanted at my school for the upcoming year, just before having to super glue a smile to my face in front of 20 adolescents and keep them excited about their progress in English. I allowed myself the cry a river on the bus ride home, then put my game face on. Up until that moment, I had not been sure about my stay here since it had been so rocky, but in time it took for me to realize that staying might not be an option, my gut told me that's what I wanted to do. I went to talk to the people I needed to talk to, but to no reward, it was only in the hands of those who I work under. So after gathering a support team, highlighted all of the regulations I needed in my corner, I went and pleaded my case. Even if they didn't keep me at the same school, it was a death sentence (okay, so I'm a little dramatic) to keep me out of the entire program. Perseverance paid off and I was able to get the papers I needed in order to renew my contract here in Spain. In order to get what I wanted though I had to send everything to the office where you change regions, essentially meaning I wouldn't be in Madrid, in theory. I banked on the the inefficiency of the system, that because I had preferenced Madrid on my application, and it has the most positions in all of Spain that the odds were in my favor to stay, but I wouldn't know that for sure until I got my letter. And the waiting game begins. 

A few weeks after the deadline to turn in the application all of my auxiliar friends in Madrid had received their Madrid placement emails. My inbox was still empty. A bit disheartening, but not all hope lost. I continued to wait as the facebook wall of the Auxiliares group was filling with posts about placements. 

One afternoon as I got comfortable in my room after a long day of teaching, there it was, as sly and unexpected as can be, my email from the ministry of education. I held my breath and clicked on the link, and in that moment I saw my outsmarting had worked. I received a placement for MADRID for next school year!!! I didn't know what to do with myself. For what seems like soo long (2 months) my future was hanging by a thread and now the biggest weight was off my shoulders. I have something to work toward, a goal to upkeep.

This news brought me to looking for tickets home for the summer to go and see my family and friends who I miss incredibly (Yes, I miss you incredibly). Unfortunately, tickets to go home for summer are looking right around $1100 to $1500, a very depressing sight. And with nothing secure here in Spain, it was even more depressing. Too poor to live in Spain, and too poor to go home. AHH! Talk about between a rock and a hard place. The summer job I had sort of been counting on fell through, and I played around with applying at camps, and/or otherwise racking up massive credit card debt and be poor at home. 

Well today my email graced me once again with some good news. I got hired to teach at a summer camp for the month of July, with not a bad salary. Unfortunately, it's not enough to send me laughing all the way to the airline counter, but things should be a little easier for the beginning of next school year. Which brings me to why this news is bittersweet. It's the realization that I am probably not going to go home for the summer (never say never...but...). It is also the realization that it may well be until NEXT summer that I get to be home. I know what you're thinking... Cathy you're living your dream, stop complaining. I know this, I just can't help, but think about my parents, and my sister who is going to be getting married!!, and my babies back home,  and my friends. 2 years just seems like a really long time. Either way I know I am blessed to have such great opportunities and people around the globe, and I appreciate them all and know how fast any of them can not be an option. So ending the pity party, and wrapping up this post. 

Lots of things to look forward to, putting on that smile and doing it. Some great posts about trips and events around Madrid, as well as more writing of articles. For now you can go check out the poetry explosion on my other blog (videos soon to come). Thanks for reading, and sticking with me y'all. We're still on the ride. 

-@CathyArely 

Picture Source: Google.com 

Past-Roots, Present-Life, and Future-Seeds...always intertwined

Hey Hey all!

So I think this is good, within 10 days of my last post I'm creating a new one (go me!) lol actually I was inspired to do this post a few days ago, but alas the calling needs of the PRESENT at times prove to be an obstacle.

What actually inspired this was a conversation that I had with my abuelita (grandmother). She was telling me about her life in El Salvador. She shared with me things that I hadn't known before. What stuck out the most to me, is that she was telling me stories about when she was La Presidenta for the board of her community, San Vicente. She had also been a leader in the church. She was someone who spent time raising funds for good causes, helping out people who needed it. This struck me because it shed light onto where my ambitions come from. I always knew that my family supports me in my endeavors, even as crazy as they seem. What I failed to realize is that perhaps my knack for leading isn't something that just sprouted out of nowhere because I thought it was a good idea, it was something that was in my blood my PAST driving the FUTURE.

There are so many more stories that I'd like to get out of my family before it is too late, although I am scared to, because I know it can provoke horrible memories of a tragic time in a place where some of my raíces-roots come from. This semester I took a Central American Studies class and reading about stories from that area, just makes me more hungry for that personal history. I need to know those stories, so that I can pass them down to my children, and grandchildren, and make sure they know their raíces. I'll find the courage to one day open that Pandora's box, I guess I just need to figure out the right way to do it without unleashing too many demons.

Speaking of demons... lol Last week was a very tough week. At the courthouse there was a situation that made me upset, because I felt helpless against the system in order to help one of the many people who come to see us there. Even after it was all over my body still felt tense and upset, for the rest of the evening. To make matters worse, that day I received a letter from CSUN stating that I hadn't completed the requirements to graduate. Right there stress levels through the roof, rant all up on my fb page, makin' phone calls trying to get business handled. After a trip to the valley, a few phone calls, and emails later, I can say my diploma's in the mail! Just waiting for me to rock the FUTURE and show the world what I can do as ALUMNI.


So I guess what I'm going to take from all of this is that from the roots grows what life may be, from there we bask in the fruit life gives us, and leave the seeds to replenish our future--lol I guess I'm feeling a little extra poetic today.

Thanks for reading. Comments are always appreciated :)

<3 Cat

Plays, Papers, and Machines....Oh my!

Hey All,

Seeing as we inch farther and farther away from my last post, I thought today would be a good time to update everyone on what's been going on :)

So first of all, as I'm sure won't come as a surprise to anyone that knows me, In true Cathy fashion I have filled up my schedule pretty well for the summer. Yes, I know that it's summer and after the kind of semesters that I put myself through at CSUN I should be enjoying the chance to do NOTHING, but alas I don't think I could stay sane that way.

The first thing that got tacked onto the agenda is "Play On" an play being put on by RHS Alumni :) At first it was very strange to be back, especially given the fact that I was pretty much the oldest alumni of the bunch, but now things are better. I went from understudy to regular cast this week, so come check me out as 'Smitty' at Rosamond High School August - 11, 12, 13 and 18, 19, 20.

I also started volunteering at the Self-Help center at the AV courthouse. The Self-Help center is a place where people go to get help on certain paperwork that needs to be turned in to the court be it divorce papers, evictions, domestic disputes, child custody...etc. This too was overwhelming at first, because all of those papers look the same, and the girls that were already volunteering there go through them so quickly and their eyes know exactly where to go and where to check, and where to see whats missing. For the first few days I was shadowing the other volunteers, but last week they "threw me to the sharks" and had me do a divorce. I know its the only way to learn, but I guess what is most intimidating is that you're dealing with people's lives when you're handling this kind of paperwork.
A lot of people have asked me why I would go out and do something like that, when I don't have to, or because it's really depressing hearing about other's hardships, but I guess there are a few reasons why I'm there. One, I guess it makes me feel more like I have a purpose for my summer, not just lounging lazily cooking in the desert heat. Two, law school is still a good possibility for me and I have set a goal to get over 100 volunteer hours this summer before I head out to Spain. Lastly, other than looking good on my resume, I actually do like helping out my community, and if I can give back a little bit by easing someone who is going crazy because of a million forms then that's great :)

Something that I have committed to doing this summer is something that I've been griping about my whole college career not having time for...I got a gym membership! I'm really excited because it's like I graduated college, now it's time for a new me. Still trying to get a good routine going since everything is still kind of far from my house, but I'll get there :)

OH! I got my letter with the details of my job!! I'll be working with middle school and high school students! It wouldn't be my first pick, but I think everything happens for a reason, and perhaps I'll learn some things about myself along the way :)

Thanks for reading!! Comments are always appreciated!! :)

~Cat

Many things change...but somethings just stay the same...

Hey Hey all,

Since I cannot bring myself to be productive tonight I shall do something sort of productive for myself in keeping up (or atleast more so than usual) with my blog. So we already knocked out 2 weeks of the semester. (Krazy!) It seems like the million dollar word for this semester is CAPSTONE (I know, it's my last semester, so it's appropriate...blah blah blah lol) Capstone as in--15 page thesis to receive my Spanish Degree, 10 page capstone paper in children's literature and geography capstone class for my liberal studies degree, all of that on top of a FRIDAY (super lame) 3 hour geography class, a 10 page paper with annotated bibliography for Central American Studies, and a 30 minute group presentation, where my group members aren't even the slightest bit interested in the topic or the Chicano Studies class for that matter. Don't take my mini-rant as a way of discontent with what is to come. I am actually enjoying this semester a lot. I think the cherry on top for me has been my improv class. Even though it is 6 hours a week, I just get to go there and be funny, and mingle with people who I otherwise wouldn't have. I think by the end of the semester I shall be a much better improver and who knows maybe that will be the reason you'll see my name in lights one day...lol or atleast in the program for our final show (May 18, 2011 @ 6 pm).
It never seems to fail that at the beginning of the semester, I have super high hopes of keeping up with everything so that I can keep myself relatively stress free thought the course of the semester, and at a certain point (some semesters earlier than others) all of that optimism goes out the window because it is smacked upside the head with reality. Procrastination (a good friend of mine) sets in until about 3 weeks before school is over then near stress breakdown until the end, only to find that I did pretty well. At Week 2, I am trying really hard not to fall into that pattern, but seeing my to-do list at the end of each day and the time of day that is left, can at times be discouraging. I'll hold on as long as I can especially since I plan at being at the library so much they'll probably start charging me rent :P

A hard part of being so busy with school (and 70 miles from home) is that the time I have with my family between winter and summer is very minimal. In fact before coming back to the valley on my dad's birthday, we went out to Olive Garden, and I picked up the tab and said Happy Birthday to my Dad, my Mom, and my sister Lilly, because I knew I wasn't going to get to see them before their birthday's passed. Speaking of birthday, what makes this "not being able to see my family really" phase a bit harder is that I just had a baby cousin born and it makes me a little sad that I am not there to bask in the whole newborn atmosphere that is going on with the fam. I know he's not going to remember that I didn't meet him til he was 2 months old, but I am. Well, after my graduation (MAY 25, 2011 lol) I'll have some solid time con la familia.

Since 2011 is the year of changes, it was a time for a look change too!!

Before

After

I miss the long locks some times, but soon enough I'll have them again. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Thank you if you've made it this far down my blog, Comments are always appreciated :)

<3 Cat