2014 (1) Nike Attitude

Here I am again in front a blank screen for a blank blog post that should soon be filled with witty and charming tales of my daily meandering around. The last time I hit "publish" on this blog was back in August, and even then several posts begin with a sincere apology for my absence since I know (hope) that the tiny little things I write inspire something (laughter, thoughtfulness...etc.) in those who read. This isn't the first time I've sat in front of this screen between my last post and now, it's just the time that I've decided to suck it up and write, the longer you prolong it the guiltier you'll feel. So here I am. I know it's not totally rational that I feel guilty when not writing things in my blog, and of course seeing things like this makes it even more sad.

2014 (0)

This blog started slow because I was crazy in my senior year of college, and I didn't really have time to fit in blogging in the mere 24 hours that we have in a day. Jump to my first year in Spain lots of posts leading up to my departure and the several (mis)adventures that popped up along the way. I was also churning out a lot of posts because I involved myself heavily in the blogging community, and wanted to give my readers something worth coming back to my page for. When I found my niche in Spain, it left less time for me to be blogging about the things I was doing, and instead I was just doing them. Comments and readers dwindled and so did the posting. Now we are in 2014, and I'm not really sure what the fate of this blog is. I don't think I have the heart to close it down completely, because it does give me a space to share my thoughts in a different way than I can on facebook and/or twitter, but I am not quite sure I have the same aspiration I did 3 years ago with having a super popular famous blog where everyone reads it, and not only my family. Even though there is a high number of page views on my blog I'm sure 80% of them are spambots from Russia. I also want to keep writing because I am a bit of a nostalgic person and having something to go back to is important.

It's funny though, I really thought that by living in rural Spain I'd write so much more! There weren't going to be lots of distractions like activities and lots of friends that I had in Madrid, and even a fellow writer friend of mine told me that what a lot of writers want is the time and space to write. That's what I got lots of time and plenty of quiet moments to just sit with a pen and a pad (or a blank blog screen) and just let the words flow from my brain to the page. It hasn't happened quite as I'd planned. I haven't been completely dry on the writing block. My poetry blog has had a few entries, and I'm excited that my Spanish skills are evolving to a place where I can write poems that aren't half bad.

I think part of my lack of motivation/ inspiration is partly due to this "fish out of water" feeling I sometimes have in my current place of living. I hadn't anticipated missing Madrid as much as I do, now that I am so close yet so far, and that in turn has occasionally not really allowed me to connect with the place that I live. It doesn't help that I commute to work so the friends I make at work are far away, and the friends I have where I live I can count on one hand (yeah, it could be much worse--- I've been much worse, but it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to :P ). It doesn't help that I have several moments like this in Navalmoral de la Mata, but I'm growing and learning to not shut down because of it.

But I guess with all things you want to accomplish you kinda have to put yourself in the Nike attitude (Just do it!) So that's what I'm doing--- Just do it (write!) Just do it (be happy!) Just do it (clean your room!... well) lol. I think it has also really helped me to take part in the #100HappyDays challenge. If you're curious to see what it is take a look at my fb album and check out www.100happydays.com.

That's all for now, let's hope you'll be reading me again soon! <3

Ciao Ciao

@CathyArely